We Should Remember...

I attended church in Arizona with my brother and his family while we were visiting for the weekend.  It's interesting to go to different congregations.  Since I'm part of a worldwide church, so much is the same and familiar - the format of the meetings, the hymns we sing, the kinds of activities that are planned and listed on the announcements, even the blueprint of the building - I knew just where to find a bathroom and drinking fountain.

The Sunday School class had a really nice discussion and some remarks by an older gentleman lingered with me and caused me to ponder and later stirred a discussion that I had with Jon.  He shared his thoughts about how we should remember - not just the good times, but the bad times too.  Often it's in the bad time, the rough spots, that we really learn a lot and grow.  Although it may make an uncomfortable history, those lessons are very valuable and should be carried with us.

My thoughts immediately turned back FOUR years to those long months when our son had cancer.  I recognize for his emotional and social healing that he can't dwell on it and talk about it all the time.  His life has moved on.  Jacob NEVER speaks of it.  Of course he rarely speaks about his currently life either - it's a personality trait.  And I'm not saying that we should remember those dreadful hours waiting in a sterile clinic waiting for labs and infusions, etc.

But since it is September and it's Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, I do want to carry with me the lessons I learned.  During that time it was SO OBVIOUS what really mattered.  When you are spending that much time counting blood cells and visiting doctors, and therapists, and technicians, and pharmacists, holding your family together is all that matters.  It is STILL all that matters, but we complicate it so much more.

I learned so much about the personalities of our family members - strengths and weaknesses - and how we all fit together to make it work.

Our whole family was touched by family and friends in words and deeds in ways we couldn't imagine.

I felt like Heavenly Father helped me be a good mom - even though I was so torn between the needs of my four children.  I was able to recognize the most pressing need and tend to it and then move on to the  next.  I haven't been as good at it since.  God really helped me serve my family.  Although I was heartbroken because of the situation, I was filled with love for the people I cared about and that kind of love can get you through anything.

I am grateful that I can forget what a perfect ANC count is. I am grateful that I've been seening orthopaedics and dentists instead of oncologists and urologists for my kids.  I have compassion for the many families who are living on the cancer floor, counting white blood cells, stroking bald heads, and wishing they could "go back to normal."