Workout Momma - The Sabotage

I think I mentioned that I recently joined a gym. Jayson is not so thrilled with being dropped off at child care. The first visit he didn't realize that he was going to get stuck there. Round two he was prepared and clingy when it was time to drop him off. Jessica wasn't with him either. He gets big tears in his red eyes and grabs on the swinging door and cries as I walk out. I know I'll be a better mom if I can move and have more energy. I also know that he will only be sad a few minutes before he makes the best of his situation. So I go - heartstrings tugging and all.

Before I was a mom, I did various types of exercise whenever I felt like it. Now it's always a logistics issue - unless of course it is a pregnant/sleep deprived/motivation issue. My boys would NOT go to a child care at the gym and we didn't have money for the membership anyway. I would walk with friends - eventually moving to the double stroller. I've done exercise videos/DVDs (step, pilates, yoga, kick boxing, latin rhythm dance something) in my house and half of the workout is rearranging the toys so I have room to kick, step, or throw a punch. Stretching has been less effective. I am often tackled, pounced on, or called to do other tasks. I know I like how I feel after the exercise is over, but getting there is the trouble. For a while I went to the church building for aerobics and the kids would run around the gym. That worked when the boys were at school and Jessica enjoyed the other kids, but Jayson is off taking car keys out of purses and drinking every other kids sip cup.

A few years ago (when I just had my two little boys) I was talking with my nurse practitioner. I had mild depression and she suggested I try an anti-depressant. I was hesitant because I thought I should be able to will myself to be okay. I'm optimistic by nature, but I couldn't kick the discouragement. Anyway, she suggested that I walk for 30 minutes each day. Often getting out and moving could get the serotonin going and simulate a mild anti-depressant and this could help me out of my funk. I'm certain she was picturing me out listening to birds and observing lovely flowers along the walking trail - my mind being cleared and open. How I would have enjoyed such peaceful walks!!!

The reality was that I had to hurry around make sure both diapers were clear, pack drinks and snacks, gather a handful of toys, and depending on the season grab cozy blankets. After a dozen minutes one of the passengers always wanted to disembark or there was hitting. I was watching the trail for tossed sip cups or flung toys. I was serving up crackers or fixing the straw in the juice box. There was whining and crying. The harder I tried to induce natural serotonin with my children, the more depressed and discouraged I became. And for those of you who are curious, I did go back to my nurse practitioner a few months later (after a noble effort I might add) and requested the help of the mild anti-depressants that she had suggested. Point is - exercising with children has always posed a problem for me.

I do still plan on going for some walks because I really enjoy being outside. Jayson and Jessica are a new set of personalities, so it may not be such a problem. But I have to be willing to push 28+45 pounds.

One thing I like about the gym is being able to have the machines figure out how many calories I'm burning (never enough fast enough). I like seeing that I'm in my target heart rate range. I like that the air conditioning is blowing and I'm not sweating it outside in this heat. I get to wear a cool bracelet during my workout - it basically says you may all have way bigger muscles and way tighter abs, but I've got kids in the Kids Club. I'm not as cool as most gym-goers. Even IF I had an iPod, I don't think I could be chillin' to some tunes while on the treadmill. I have to be listening to the club speakers so I can hear all the announcements. Sure enough, last time I was riding my exercise bike, "Jennifer, please go to Kids Club." That's it - game over. Jayson was playing happily. The care giver said, "he poop."

Surely there is some exercise rule that says, "thou shalt not raise your heart rate and then stop suddenly to drive your smelly kid home." No cool down. No stretching. Only 150 calories burned. Better luck next time.