Digital All Her Life

So I'm NOT making a slide show of my sweet baby girl's first four years. YOU get to scroll down through the years. Watch those curls grow.

We got our 1st digital camera before Jessica was born. It's just a point n shoot, but I have all her photos on the computer. Going through these help me see how much better our SLR camera is. Join me now as I present: Jessica, the First Four Years

The First Days







The First Months



































One Year Old































2 Years Old



























3 Years Old





















4 Years Old



That's My Girl!!!

Weighty Matters

I like math, but maternity weight doesn't add up. I had a brilliant 52 pound pregnancy with Jayson. I weighed in at my all time personal high of 227 lbs at delivery. I birthed a 8 lb. 15 oz. baby + placenta (which we didn't put on the scale - although now I'm curious). Over the next two weeks I dropped additional weight and then leveled off at a total of 22 pounds lost. It seems very overwhelming that I still have 40 lbs to lose to be at a good weight for me. Lucky for me I started in an "upscale" body frame before the pregnancy. Now I need to downsize the pregnancy blubber (literally a squishy tube around my middle) & shimmy down those awesome thighs I have.

Since Jayson started sleeping through the night a week ago, my fatigue excuse needs to fade. I've been working on building up my endurance and retraining my muscles to move, but my body rebels. My muscles are in knots and my feet ache. Jayson hasn't been real supportive of the exercise movement. He hasn't stayed in the stroller long without screaming, so I holster him in the baby carrier. In theory I'm getting the added benefit of weight lifting while I walk, but in reality it has aggravated my neck, shoulder, and lower back muscles.

Exactly how much weight am I lugging around? I put Jayson on the scale yesterday. He is just under 3 months and weighs 15 lbs. 4 oz. I'm going to call him TANK. He is rock solid. Every few hours it's time to fill the tank. He doesn't like to be half full and he certainly doesn't run on empty.

I've had a major tension headache for over 5 days now. It's always there - sometimes set at bay with Excedrin and other times not. ThermaCare wraps are my friends. My feet are gellin' with Dr. Scholl's inserts. If I'm going to feel miserable, I'd like it to be for a good cause. So I went walking with Jayson last night. Then this morning I tossed him in the jogger stroller and walked the boys to school.

We had lots of wind this morning that takes Jayson's breath away. It wasn't all that cold, just gusty. Strolling up the hill toward my house, I was pushing through a strong head wind. My thighs may not be shimmied down yet, but they are going to be aching in the morning.

Dora Dominoes

After a busy morning, the baby was resting quietly. I was on my way toward the computer to check out the blogs, but I saw Jessica's Dora Dominoes scattered on the floor. It was obvious to me that I was making a choice. Today I think I made a good one.

On the Monday after General Conference Weekend, I'm fully aware that I need to up my game in the mothering department. This is where I need to focus and improve.

Let's review - I'm the girl that graduated from BYU with a bachelors degree in Human Development from the College of Family Sciences. I took parenting classes and various child development courses. I believe in motherhood. What a sacred privilege. My days are monotonous (how many times did I sweep up banana bread crumbs today?), exhausting, repetitious, taxing, and left unfinished. Most of what I do goes unnoticed and often unappreciated. But I believe that a mother's legacy is irreplaceable. Moreover (isn't that a cool way to start a sentence?), I believe that Heavenly Father sent my children to me - despite my resume of weaknesses - trusting that I'd help them in ways that only I can. The responsibility is huge. It's the job I've always wanted and willingly and lovingly embraced.

Well believing it and knowing all the theories isn't the same as doing it well. Children really do know how to ride the nerves & amp up chaos. I love my children, but chaos makes me crazy. I'm TERRIBLE at "enjoying the journey." I'm TERRIBLE at valuing the process. It's often like torture to me. Teaching children to work makes for more whine than I can digest. Teaching children limits induces more tantrums than I thought possible. Teaching children gratitude and respect sometimes seems impossible. And please tell me HOW you teach children to be still or be quiet or stop bugging while we are trying to pray, read, scriptures, or listen to church. It's constant motion around here. All of it is simply harder than it looks.

{step off soapbox & lower voice}

Anyway, because of Conference & my renewed desire to be a better mother, I asked Jessica if she'd like to play dominoes with me. We had a delightful game. When she started to cheat so she could play all of her tiles first, I decided that teaching her to play by the rules was not the point today. Today was about Mom having time to be together with just her. Today was about giving praise for matching her tiles. Today mommy agreed to play a second game instead of rushing off. Today was a day that perhaps both of us can remember later.

Motherhood really is about moments & I want more memorable ones in my life.

What better way to lock the momories in my mind than with a picture, so I grabbed the camera. But given the late hour, they are SOOC (straight out of the camera - not edited) and today that is going to be okay with me.

Tub Buddies

Life isn't always fair. This is a lesson that is first learned at home - especially if you have siblings. Then you experience it again and again throughout your life.

My boys have always shared a bedroom. I don't think there's anything wrong with having sibling bunk together - even if you have a home with enough bedrooms. Afterall, I share a bedroom too :). It was a bit of a pain when Jacob would scream his head off as a baby and wake James up. Then we had two screaming children in the wee hours. It would have been convenient to have them separated, but we didn't have the space back then.

Jessica has her own bedroom because she's a girl and the boy's room is full. She finds it SO unfair that she doesn't have anybody to share a room with. She often drags her blanket and pillow into the boys room and falls asleep on the floor.

The boys have shared the bathtub too - which they enjoyed for the most part. We always bathed Jessica in our bathtub - referred to as "the princess tub." But she eventually realized that it wasn't fair that she didn't have anybody to play with in the tub. She often tried to join the boys. My policy is that siblings can bath together when they are little regardless of gender. I've seen bathtub pictures of me with 3 of my siblings, so I would have been at least 10 years old. Jessica stirs up the waters though because there just isn't room for my three lanky children in one standard sized tub. Jon usually takes on the back breaking task of bathing Jessica & washing her hair. When he is out of town, I plead with the boys to wash her hair. "Please, go use my tub. I need your help. Please shampoo her hair." But on a regular day, we prefer to have the boys in their bathroom & Jessica in ours. She's sad about it, but there's less grief overall.

Jessica was thrilled when I added Jayson to her tub. She loves having a water buddy. It may work best for Jayson too, since he won't have to wait for the dishes to be done to get washed up.

And just because she's a curious gal, Jessica needed to try out the baby tub after Jayson got out. She also proceeded to dump half a bottle of that strawberry shampoo into the tub just to see it drizzle and bubble.

The Perfect Start

I am not a morning person. I feel groggy and often achy when I arise. On some unlucky mornings, I arise with one of my lovely tension headaches. I don't have much to say first off. It's not a great time to ask me questions. I like it very quiet and preferably still. Interesting that I married a morning person who thrives on getting up and going.

Motherhood has made mornings more trying. My children are all early risers like their dad. They don't use alarm clocks. They get up by 6:30 a.m. on weekdays and 5:30 a.m. on weekends (need an extra hour of video games & cartoons). When we fall back for daylight savings, they are up at 4:30 a.m. until their bodies adjust. I am usually quite patient with my nursing babies because they quiet as soon as they get their milk. They make those sweet gulping sounds and they feel so warm cuddled across my chest. But many mornings I'm awakened by screaming, arguing, crying, or whining from the older kids. I don't like it a bit.

So this morning when I realized that Jessica had climbed into my bed and was curled up against my back with her arm draped around me, I thought "what a way to start the day." She usually bounds into my room and in a non-soft voice says, "Mom, will you turn on Max & Ruby" (actually she just switched to Little Bear). The So Sweet in JeSSica was back.

We continued our morning together by assembling her Princess Purse Party bags. So much of the fun is the anticipation of an event. Her birthday and party are next Tuesday. Next we did a trial run of the princess craft - gluing jewels to door hangers. I made one too & I sat with her the whole time. Later we went for a neighborhood walk and went closer to her pace (usually I want to walk faster or have her ride in the stroller so I can get some exercise).

Later that afternoon I bought each child his own roll of Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape as a bribe- I mean incentive- for letting me take pictures of them. I've been wanting to do this since I saw Meegan Littlefield's blog and her other creative balloon posts. What an inspiration!!!! We set out to do balloon photos. There will be more to come, but here's a peek.

The Top Three

The three BEST things today were actually three people. I talked on the phone with my dear friend Hyla who moved to North Carolina. Some friendships are built to last forever. I was hoping I could talk her into coming back. I'm missing her like crazy because her birthday is tomorrow and we are supposed to be having lunch at Mimi's Cafe. I might just go there and get take out tomorrow.

I also talked on the phone with my sweet sister Laneea. Her baby Dylan is just 3 1/2 weeks old. We are floating in the same boat just on two separate ponds (if THAT doesn't make sense, it's because sisters shouldn't be living in two different states - especially when they have babies). I love her and I've been pestering her more regularly with my calls because I just really need more support in my crazy life.

Finally, I have to say how much this little guy makes me smile. He lights up when he sees me. He coos and squeals. It's the sweetest sound ever. He started sleeping through the night (I mean like well over 6 hours. Last night he slept NINE hours). I'm so grateful to have him in my life even though caring for him puts a kink in my plans to take care of everything else.


P.S. I put the hat on when he was screaming. Then I nursed him to sleep with it on. Tricky. I snapped a couple photos, but the shutter clicks woke him up and he SCREAMED until I took the hat off. Then he looked at me and even cooed. It worked in my favor because I got a shot of his beautiful blue eyes too.

Do Over

It's been a very difficult day with Jessica. It started this morning when I had the grand idea to take photos in her Easter dress. She was in tears within 5 minutes & my patience was worn by then too.

The day continued with the cheddar cheese block sitting out with a big bite in it. The TV remote wound up in her purple tote bag. Jayson was toasty with his additional fleece blanket piled on him. She nearly snapped the hinges on the baby bouncy seat too. When sent outside to get out some energy, she went to stirring up the ashes in the fire pit. I escorted her back in to pick up the floor that was covered with felt, pom poms, and multiple pairs of scissors. Then there were the scattered Princess Polly Pockets, Dora dolls, & puppies (a daily ritual). Winding up the afternoon, she added blue marker all over the tabletop, broke the flower vase, and remained incurable to her selective hearing problem. We skipped her bath & I fed her lasagna for dinner even though she had the same thing for lunch. The day finished off with her saying, "I wanna cuddle-n-watch-a-movie on the big tv." With Jon working late, I had both of my babies needing to wind down for the night simultaneously. Jayson was nursing and lying across the Boppy. Jessica rests her head on the Boppy so I can tickle her arm and run my fingers through her hair. Eventually they both dozed off and there was silence. Finally. I don't know how I made it. I was disappointed with my inability to handle it today. But when they sleep and all the sweetness comes to the surface, I know that I can do it all again tomorrow.

Are You Kidding Me?

The van was on empty - dummy light on and everything. I filled the whole tank up for $80.10
Unbelievable!!! Wish it was an April Fools joke.